The other women

This story is inspired by a friend of mine who recently told me he would be back for Chinese New Year but can’t meet me because his GF is the jealous type.

I cannot recall how many friends I have lost or weddings I hadn’t attended just because of the jealous type girlfriend/wife. It also explains why I don’t get invited to the boys home-cooked dinners cause their wives think they only have guy friends. Come on Women, he picked you and he loves you, why don’t you just enjoy that and manage your own insecurities!

It’s all in your head

You know, you are only making women like me all the more attractive because you’re jealous. I’m only as great as you make me look in his eyes. A truly confident women will let their BFs have other girl friends and be totally cool with it because they know where the heart is, and if you don’t, don’t look at me? Look at yourself and evaluate WHY you don’t know where his heart is or what is wrong with your relationship?

For the record, he doesn’t want me that way! I have been friend zoned a long time ago, and you think I have no respect for you or for myself or I would screw up our 10 over years, sometimes 20 years friendship over a night with whips and lashes?

It doesn’t matter where they guy is from, Malaysia, Singapore, Europe, US, I have always had to hide our meetings like we’re doing something but we’re so NOT doing anything?

It’s worse when he lies to you

I have stayed in hotel rooms with straight guy friends just to crash that didn’t have anything to do with sex at all! Not even a kiss but what sucks is imagine the day I meet you for the first time, I will always know there is this one thing I know that you don’t. I crashed in the same room with him.

How the heck are we suppose to be besties if we’re starting our friendship this way? I will always look at my guy friend weird too, cause I knew they hid something from you.

Would you really rather be lied to? and when you discover the lie, you think there was something more because why would he lie if there was nothing right? and suddenly I’m labelled the other women and I lose a friend.

You spend days deciphering our friendship, stalking every photo we were tagged in while I’m busy going about my life and totally not knowing you were investing your time investigating our friendship?

If he wanted to be with me, we would be together a loooooong time ago. Didn’t need to wait till you met him.

You both put me in a tough spot!

So I was randomly in his hood, I called him up and he’s at a friend’s place and he invited me over to chill and so I went — totally innocent. His friends and I bonded instantly over the super good supper I happily supplied when I got there.

Then a few months later, your guy throws you a nice party and I was invited and I met the same bunch from the supper night and you looked totally surprised that we’ve met and had a blast of a night and your guy starts to stutter and I roll my eyes thinking how he eff-ed up so bad and the whole night you look at me wondering what other things has he lied to you about. What’s worst is, I don’t know why I’m participating in this? I didn’t even know this was going to happen or he wasn’t suppose to meet me?

And then I’m not invited to your wedding? Or I gave a super lame excuse that I couldn’t make it and he knows it’s lame too but never tries to talk me into coming? And when I’m not there, it suddenly solidifies further that there was something? It’s such a vicious cycle of nothingness that is totally made up and it’s so toxic!

I’m sure there are slip ups

I know cheating other halves are common and you’re not taking chances and I can’t say I haven’t seen it before either and definitely please doubt me if you must since you don’t know me well but don’t doubt your guy? You know him and you chose him?

I don’t know you but I know my guy friends damn well and they are not that kind at all. They talk about you with so much tenderness, all of you. They changed since they met you and they love you so much they would sacrifice friendships for you. Don’t give him a hard time just because we had coffee once a year?

I’m really not interested in your guy that way. I’m glad you actually care enough to be freaked out at all and it’s cute sometimes but I’m not the other women.

It really makes me sad that I have to keep losing friends I love, friends I grew up with, friends that means so much to me because of your selfish insecurities and remember, you have guy friends too?

Instead… you should be my best friend

I know you probably dislike me but wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to ask what to buy for him for all the festives? Or if you want to make sure he gets you the right gifts this Christmas? Or someone to drop the hints on the ring you like? Don’t you think he will likely come to me for advice on girlie things?

Get to know me before judging me and you’ll know, if I sincerely think you’re good for him, I’ll have your back no matter what! I would even fend the other girls off to protect your relationship. You know why? Cause I think you’re the girl for him!

We’re really quite good for you.